The Best Graffiti on the Desks in the Danforth Library 

As an avid homework doer I spend a lot of time in the Danforth Library. In fact, I spend so much time in the Danforth Library, that often I dream that I am inside the Danforth Library doing more homework. I cannot escape. It is like a surreal nightmare in which all I can do is smash my fingers on the keyboard, typing ongoing blocks of nonsensical text, pressing submit on the hour, but always being faced with more and more and more work.

Though, from time to time I do find solace in some of the clever little messages which I find carved deep into the wooden desks, immortalizing the spirit of the fellow homework doers facing their own torments as they work away their days. Allow me to share with you, dear reader, my favorites (in no particular order):

1.) A cool (and very detailed) drawing of an eye

There is nothing that says “I’m a very artsy person” quite like a very detailed drawing of an eye that is created in the midst a zone-out. Believe me, as a person who has spent a good deal of time being artsy and zoning out, I have drawn my fair share of eyes, and I know a good one when I see one. And this one is pretty darn respectable, I would like to meet the artist of this very artsy eye, and ask them what the eye is looking at, or perhaps, what they were thinking about when they were zoning out?

2.) “What is life?”

This one I think is particularly fun. I think many of us have found ourselves sitting in library for upwards of three…four…five…twelve hours, and we have wondered “Is this my life? A stack of work that never seems to grow any smaller. A clock that refuses to stop turning?” and so someone proposed the question for other homework doers to ponder: “What is life?” And from that we get two subsequent answers: “A test,” the more optimistic view. Life is a test, and you can choose to look for the answers or learn from it what you will. Or alternatively “A kick in the balls,” the classic pessimistic view that life is defined by suffering.

3.) A funky mushroom

Much like the eye, the mushroom is a classic artsy-folk doodle, though I think the mushroom often leaves more room for experimentation than the eye. This mushroom, for example, is tall, with a slender stem and a little bell shaped hat. Though I would enjoy seeing it surrounded by a group of diversely shaped mushroom friends. Maybe fat mushrooms with big round hats, or little mushrooms with flat disk shaped hats. Bring out more mushrooms please!

4.) The Astronaut 

I appreciate the Astronaut from an artistic perspective, the same way I appreciate the eye and the mushroom, though the question brought up regarding the Astronaut, “Why would an astronaut land on the North Pole?” is valid, and it also brings up a series of other questions. Is this a drawing of Earth? If it is, then is the astronaut an alien? Is this drawn to scale? I need more information.

5.) “You can do it poop-head”

This one is a little aggressive. So maybe not everyone will like it as much as I do, but I just appreciate the encouragement, which is also counteracted by the insult following it. That way you know you can get your work done, but your ego doesn’t get too big in the process.

6.) “Everyone is a genius…”

Once again, the art, the effort, the sheer amount of time that must have been dedicated to the drawing of this tree, followed by the iconic Albert Einstein quote “Everyone is a genius, but if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life thinking it’s stupid.” Which I suppose is a nice thing to put in a library, a little encouragement, but then followed by the comment “Why would a fish climb a tree?” I mean tell me this isn’t top tier comedy people. 

7.) Stop writing on the desk

The irony.

In conclusion, I spend too much time in the library, and if you also spend too much time in the library, I would suggest taking some time to examine some of the graffiti, because while most of it is just sex jokes and drawings of bongs, some of it is very insightful and funny.